Worthy
by S.Ann Smith
Summary: Chlex... No real summary yet....part 3 & 4 I'm so proud! *~*finnished*~*
1. Part one

A/N: I don't own The Lady of Shalott or Camelot... Alfred, Lord Tennyson does... Don't worry, you'll understand... Chlex (of course)... sorry for the angsty beginning...

Worthy

By S. Ann Smith

Part one: The Lady of Shalott

__

'You don't know what it's like to feel everyday that you aren't worthy. That you aren't deserving. You don't have to live the life I live. To carry the burden I have to. The burden I was blessed to carry endlessly forever without stopping. The burden of being alone while everyone lives their lives loving and being loved around you. The burden of living day-to-day, realizing that today is worse than yesterday, and tomorrow will be worse than today.'

Chloe's fingers hovered over her keyboard. Usually Lana and her would be making dinner for Gabe, but Lana wasn't here. for that matter, neither was Gabe.

Chloe was alone, and that's what scared her

There was steak thawing in the sink, and since she wasn't allowed in the kitchen-by popular demands against her cooking. She had nothing to do, except ponder her existance, and nothing to eat unless she counted the potatoe chips and those chocolate covered coffee beans she ate an hour ago.... Nah!

She re-read the words infront of her:

'_Today is worse than yesterday, and tomorrow will be worse than today.'_

It was the truth of course, though she'd never admit it to anybody outside the slightly morphed brain she called her own-or nobody who would tell of course. But unfortunately she didn't know anybody of the sort and was left to brood inside her morphed mind.

She was snapped out of her dillusional brood by the ring of her doorbell. Who would ring her doorbell? she wondered. She closed her laptop-incase it was anybody who would read it, lock her in an insane asylum, and evidently leave her there for all eternity-not a good thing, and opened her English book, she needed to get her homework done anyways. She answered the door, and was shocked at what she saw.

"Hello Mr. Luthor. I'm sorry my dad, and Lana aren't here right now. What can I do for you today?"

"That's alright, I'm sure you can...occupy my time until they return, perhaps with some verbal sparring? And of course leading up to the point where you invite me in." 

"That's what all the demons say before they kill the innocent girls." She smiled. "Are you one of those things that go bump in the night Luthor?" What the hell was she doing?

"I'm not going to answer that last question to a minor." he smirked "But I am serious, invite me in." She laughed at his desperation, and moved out of they way for him to come in. Lex smiled, and sat down on her spot on the couch. He looked into her English book, and his trademark smirk soon appeared on his face.

"Tennyson, hum?" CHloe nodded, quietly searching the cupboards for coffee of somesort. Dammit! She shouldn't have eaten those chocolate covered coffee beans. Come on! There has to be caffine in this house somewhere!

'Lying, robed in snowy white 

That loosely flew to left and right-- 

The leaves upon her setting-- 

Thro' the noises of the night 

She floated down to Camelot" Lex chuckled to himself, as if he was lost in some distant memory. "I always liked Lancelot." Chloe turned to face him, look of shock emminant on her face.

"Really?" she raised her eyebrow, "I would have thought you would've been more partial to Mordred." she smirked looking into the ckupboards above her.

"No." He said it like it was the most rediculouis notion-oh god was she thinking like an old dead poet? "What _are_ you looking for anyways?"

"Coffee." she blurted frustratedly. "And there is no coffee in this house!"

"That's surprising," he smirked. "I can help you ease that problem-I do own half of the Talon."

"Don't tease me with coffee." she huffed. She had hit a caffine withdrawl low, and would now be bitchy until her needs were met.

"I don't tease." She tried to ingnore the sexual lift in his voice, and continue the amazing coffee search-even though she alreadyu had lost. And searching more would only frustrate the caffine deprived person she called herself-even though nobody would ever want to associate with her when she was caffine deprived.

Luthor had won the battle-of-the-coffee, as her mind was now calling it. Chloe didn't like losing.

"Fine. You win. But you're buyuing." she grumbled as she searched for a piece of paper. She left Gabe a note, and followed Lex out the door to his car, and enevidably to her precious coffee.

If Luthor was buying, she was getting the biggest, most expensive coffee she could find.

She wasn't going down without a fight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

A/N: The Lady of Shalott was an... aquaintance of Lancelets.... Lancelot, Launcelot, or Lancelet... Personally I like Lancelet better, because it is close to the norm, yet not.. anyways, Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote the poem in theVictorian Era, So I couldn't own it.... I wrote this in Math Class Yesterday (13*03*03) and that's why it's short... The next part will have a different piece of Literature in it, as the ch title will mention... The Angsty stuff at the beginning tie in with the poem, as the Lady of Shalott was cursed and had to stay away from the world... see I'm not crazy-don't answer that......

~S


	2. Part two

A/N: sorry for the lateness, I had to find somemore information and stuff before I could finnish this chapter... The portrayal of Elaine of Asolat, wasn't hard to find, it was just hard to find _correct_ information on her that didn't contradict 'the Lady of Shalott'... unfortunately there is no quote in this chapter, mainly because it didn't fit... oh well... but I do mention some really good poems in this chapter (all of which I _don't_ own)

Worthy

By S. Ann Smith

Part two: Reasonings

Chloe took a sip of the Mucho Grande Chai Latte in front of her. It waas her fifth latte since they arrived less than an hour ago (mainly due to uneasy nerves, lack of caffine in her system , and the surrealness of having a decent conversation with Lex Luthor)

Her phone hadn't rang, so she knew that her dad wasn't home yet.

Lana, on the other hand, had been eyeing them since Latte number two, although it could be because Luthor-Lex as he persistanly was insisting since they left Chloe's house-had bought them all. Suspicious activity as is, let alone totally out of character for Lex-yes she did relent eventually-to be sitting in his,well partially his, coffee shop with the regularly frequenting Chloe. This had raised several eyebrows, mainly to the self-explanitory Luthor as evil in the smalltown. Add to the matter the fact that Chloe was _actually _allowing someone (other than herself) to handle her precious coffee. 

They had talked-alot- about everything and nothing all at the same time. They talked about new cars, coffee flavours and surprisingly, hadn't touched on the topic of Clark and Lana's everchanging relationship. This definately left Chloe feeling relieved to points betyond words, and left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomache.

"Are you sure you don't want anything other than those Lattes? I'm sure they can't be a supplement for real food."

"I'm fine, and besides, my dad's going to phone soon," she smiled, the whole time wondering why he was concerned, and if he actually was.

Lex smirked at an unknown secret joke., which Chloe didn't find amusing, mainly because she wanted to know this secret joke.

"My dad would never call me for dinner without an alterior motive." He obviously had noticed the curious look on her face.

"Am I that transparent?" She smiled sweetly. It was false sweetness all the same, partially because she didn't want him thinking... what ever it was that he was thinking at that moment, and partially because she wias immitating Lana. The latter of which secretly would have pleased her, if she hadn't befriended Lana-although she would never say it aloud.

"So why the Lady of Shalott?" He asked quickly changing the subject in that oh-so-Luthor fashion of his.

"The Assignment was to pick a poem about a person, or a feeling- Such as Elaine of Asolat-that we liked as individuals. Pete's doing 'Are you digging on my grave?' by Hardy,and Clark's doing Ulysses."

"Also Tennyson I see."

"Clark's doing Tennyson, because Lana is doing 'Tears Idle Tears' from the Princess." Chloe stated all-knowingly."

"And how do these pretain to the assignment exactly?"

"Well, Clark is Ulysses, a great hero who is saddened as he ages because of his knowedge that he is dying and losing power. 

"How do you get _that_ from Farm boy?"

"Ulysses and Clark are always saving damsels in distress." she stated firmly. "Pete wanted to do something humourous to read and write about, and Lana.."

"Lana?"

"Is the princess. Surrounded by death, and thinking of Leost time."

"And that leaves you."

"Elaine gave everything to make Lancelet better while he was... wounded, but afterwards all he could think about was Gwynhwyfar." Chloe looked down at her diminishing Coffee supply, unbelieving that she just said _all_ of that to Lex. She knew it was bubling in her somewhere, just waiting to escape, but _that_ was unbeliveable. She shoulcn't have told him all of that... She took a deep sip of the remains of her coffee, and secretly wished that she could swallow down her words just as easily.

"Do you feel that you were mistreated in someway?"

"No... I'm just over emotional that's all, I get all wrapped up in my own thoughts that I forget where I left reality, just forget it." She said standing up, hoping he would take the lie as a truth.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm out of coffee." She said smiling. She hoped he had forgotten about her little rant.

"Let me get it." He smiled, taking the cup out of her hands before she could protest. When he returned, which was after Chloe had partially convinced herself that she _wasn't_ just checking out Lex Luthor, he decided to enlighten her with his points of view on the proir subject. "I think that Elaine needed someone other than Lancelet, and that she had mistaken lust for love." Lex said sitting down beside her softly. Did he _have _to speak so kindly towards her? Of course not Chloe, she chided herself, he's just setting down rules of undermining and hiddne agendas. It's what Luthor's do.

She cleared her throat softly, carefully noting that Lex was sitting right beside her now, not at the safe distance he'd been at for the past hour. "I think that Elaine was unsure of what was Love and Lust."

"Maybe someone else should have told her that he loved her." Lex said softly, watching for her reaction. Watching for the reaction she was carefully concealing, the reaction that she didn't feel comfortable revealing to anyone. Because hey, let's face it, Pete, and Clark were no help when it came to love and lust, and Lana would have just said it was unrequited love.

"I think we're geting a bit too far off topic. I believe this is an-" She was cut off by the alarming sensation of Lex's lips softly, but persistantly, engulfing her own. Before the shocked Chloe could respond it was over, and Lex was standing up. 

"I believe, Miss Sullivan, that you need to pick a different poem, for your Assignment." He said with a smirk as he walked away. 

Chloe absently brought her hands to her lips and carefully leaned into the back of the couch. She closed her eyes, as she moved her hands away from her lips, and sighed deeply. Her mind was racing, and her heart still had yet to calm down. She sat there for a while, as the shock slowly drifted away like waves of relief.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TBC

A/N did you think that I'd leave you all with the burden of an unfinished story? you probably did, and I'm sorry...

~S


	3. Part three

A/N: this is a short ch., one which doesn't include a poem again(sorry:( ..) and will be followed -almost immediately - by the conclusion, Chloe's report. Enjoy

Worthy

By S. Ann Smith

Part three: A Call To Change Everything

Her serenity was shattered by the beeping of her phone. It was her dad, calling her for dinner, she decided as she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi hon. Where are you?"

"Talon, I'll be home soon."

"We have a dinner reservation at Chèr François tonight."

"But the steak." She said quietly, the meat would be spoilt tomorrow. 

"Don't worry I put it in the fridge. Tell Lana to get somebody else to lock up tonight, we're having a family dinner." 

"Okay, Bye Dad."

"Bye sweetie, see you soon." Her dad's voice said as she turned off her phone.

Lex had to have been behind it. There was no question of that. But what was the ulterior motive behind it? She wondered as she walked towards Lana. After Lana assigned one of the more responsible waitresses lock up duty, and told her what she had to do, they drove to the Sullivan household to get ready for their fancy dinner.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe sat between her dad and Lana, at the small round table. She smirked at her last comment, what with all of the Camelot comments going around at all between her and Lex, after which she recieved a slightly puzzled look from her dad and a conspirtory look from Lana, who had witnessed what had happened earlier.

"I was told to let you girls decide what you wanted."

"By who?" Chloe asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I don't know." He smiled mysteriously.

"Liar." She mumbled into her drink, this caused a small eruption of laughter from Lana, who poorly concealed it with a cough.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once home, Chloe engrossed herself in a search for a poem to fit what was going through her mind at that exact moment. 

Once found, she knew exactly what she was going to write about.

~*~*~

__

tbc


	4. Part four

A/N: Chloe's report. ^-^ enjoy...

Worthy

By S. Ann Smith

Part four: Worthy 

'She tells her love while half-asleep', or 'What it is to be worthy'

By Chloe Sullivan

I can't tell you what it is like on the Moon, or even how it is on Earth. I can't tell you what it is like to live, or if the sun will rise or fall today, or tomorrow. But I can tell you this: life will go on, and I believe you will understand, because now I understand. I understand why the sun rises and shines when you don't feel like getting up in the morning, and why the rain calms people almost so they can't rise and shine. 

As you know, I had previously chosen the poem 'The Lady of Shalott', and was willing to give you a personalized glimpse into her world. I chose a diferent poem, after recieving some advice-well maybe not exactly advice, but it helped me all the same. I will not dwell on who I feel I am, because now, I know, I am Chloe Sullivan-not bound by the realms of extremitieds. Worthy of life, happiness, and love.

Worthiness is not to be judged by the amount of love and recognition recieved, or even unrecieved. It doesn't make you, you make it. Decisions to be made, lives to live, and soon love will be found-if it hasn't been found already. But to be worthy means to throw all pasts out the window, to start anew.

The poem I chose goes as follows:

She tells her love while half-asleep

In the dark hours,

With half -words whispered low:

As Earth stirs in her winter sleep

And puts out grass and flowers

Dispite the snow

Dispite the falling snow.

The poem, is by Robert Graves, and in my opinion, he is implying that their love will go on, starting from the new, but cold, pure snow. In order for them to love, they must start anew. But as all great poetry goes, you should make your own decisions. I think you should know, whetherthe Moon sets or rises at different times, love goes on

Life goes on

"Dispite the snow

Dispite the falling snow."

"Well what do you think?" Chloe asked the bald man infront of her.

"What do I think? Hmm.." He falsely thought for a moment, "I think that you think I give

good advice. Which is probably a lie." he smirked, pulling her close to him.

"And?" She rose her eyebrow at him.

"And, I think you made the right choice on your poem." he said, as if he had previously 

rehearsed for hours.

"Me too." She smiled up at him as he pulled her in for a kiss.

~*~*~*~

End.

;D


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